Expanding possibilities is about how we can help young people see new potential and possibilities for their future. By connecting them with ideas, experiences, people, and places outside their everyday lives, parents can help young people make connections that grow and expand their world. In turn, these can ignite fulfillment, curiosity and passions that can last throughout their lives.

Trying new things, meeting new people, and going to new places can all contribute to expanding possibilities.

Actions That Expand Possibilities

Expanding possibilities involves three actions in Search Institute’s developmental relationships framework:

• Inspire: Inspire me to see possibilities for my future.

• Broaden horizons: Expose me to new ideas, experiences, and places.

• Connect: Introduce me to people who can help me grow.

Watch this short video to learn more about expanding possibilities in families:

How Well Do We Expand Possibilities?

U.S. parents are less likely to say they expand possibilities than any of the other elements of developmental relationships, according to Search Institute research.

Take this quiz to see how you can expand possibilities within your family.

Ways to Expand Possibilities in Your Family

On our Keep Connected website, you’ll find lots of ways to expand possibilities in your family. There you can find:

• Expand possibilities family quiz 
• Discussion starters (Talk About It tab)
• Family activities (Try It tab)
• Books to read together (Read It tab)
• More information about Expanding Possibilities (Learn About It tab)

Check out all the free resources on our Keep Connected site. You can also find more in-depth research on family relationships on Search Institute’s research on families section.

This is part of a five-part series on developmental relationships in families. To read other posts in the series, visit Express Care, Challenge Growth, Provide Support, and Share Power.

Sharing power is the way we influence, learn from, and work with each other in our family relationships. Sharing power with kids helps prepare them to be responsible adults.

As our kids grow older, they develop increased capacity for thinking critically and making responsible decisions, so it’s good for them to have a voice within the family and in other parts of their life.

How we share power changes as kids become older. Sometimes power struggles are part of the process, but they are a normal and healthy aspect of the shifting power dynamic between growing kids and their parents. 

Families grow stronger when they become intentional in how they share power and influence each other.

Actions That Share Power

Search Institute has identified these four actions that share power:

• Respect me: Take me seriously and treat me fairly
• Include me: Involve me in decisions that affect me
• Collaborate: Work with me to solve problems and reach goals
• Let me lead: Create opportunities for me to take action and lead.

Watch this short video to learn more about sharing power in families:

How Well Are We Sharing Power?

According to Search Institute’s research, more U.S. parents say they respect their children (88%) and include them in decisions (78%), than say they collaborate (52%) or give kids chances to lead (49%).

Take this quiz to see how power is being shared within your family

Learning Ways to Share Power in Your Family

On our Keep Connected website, you’ll find lots of ways to share power in your family. There you can find:

• Family share power quiz 
• Discussion starters (Talk About It tab)
• Family activities (Try It tab)
• Books to read together (Read It tab)
• More information about sharing power (Learn About It tab)

Check out all the free resources on our Keep Connected site. Find more in-depth research on family relationships on Search Institute’s research on families section.

This is part of a five-part series on developmental relationships in families. To read other posts in the series, visit Express Care, Challenge Growth,  Provide Support, and Expand Possibilities.

Supporting kids is an important role for parents. Young people are more likely to reach goals when parents and family members are there to provide support to help them get through tough situations, set boundaries and keep them heading in the right direction. As kids grow up, the type of support they need changes, but their need for family support doesn’t go away. 

However providing support is not doing things for them. The goal is to empower kids to do things for themselves. 

Research tells us that kids who have supportive parents are more likely to:

• Maintain a higher GPA and adjust better in school
• Have higher self-esteem and lower rates of depression
• Have lower rates of substance abuse
• Experience less stress or fewer emotional problems

Actions for Providing Support

Search Institute has identified these four actions that help families provide support:

• Navigate: Guide me through hard situations and systems
• Empower: Build my confidence to take charge of my life
• Advocate: Stand up for me when I need it
• Set boundaries: Put in place limits that keep me on track

Watch this short video to learn more about providing support:

How Well Do We Provide Support?

About eight out of ten U.S. parents report being  strong in providing support for their children, according to Search Institute surveys. Take this quiz to see how you support kids in your household.

How to Provide Support in Your Family

On our Keep Connected website, you’ll find lots of ways to provide support in your family, such as:

• The provide support family quiz
• Discussion starters 
• Family activities
• Books to read together
• Research on providing support

Check out all the free resources on our Keep Connected site. Find more in-depth research on family relationships on Search Institute’s research on families section.

This is part five of a five-part series on developmental relationships in families. To read other posts in the series, visit Express Care, Challenge Growth, Share Power and Expand Possibilities .

As adults, we often look back on challenges in our life as times of growth–and sometimes even our best experiences. So it’s also important to challenge growth in our families as well, to inspire, encourage and influence young people to take risks, work on goals, and try new things.

But sometimes the way we push our kids can backfire. We know that encouraging kids to take on challenges will help them grow. However it’s important for them to be driven to work toward the goals on their own.

Actions That Challenge Growth

Search Institute has identified these four actions to challenge growth:

• Expect my best. Expect me to live up to my potential.
• Stretch. Push me to go further.
• Hold me accountable. Insist I take responsibility for my actions.
• Reflect on failures. Help me learn from mistakes and setbacks.

Watch this short video to learn more about challenging growth:

How Well Do We Challenge Growth?

In a Search Institute survey, almost 75% of parenting adults report strengths in challenging growth with their kids. Take the Challenge Growth quiz to see how well you and others challenge growth in your family.

Learning Ways to Challenge Growth in Your Family

On our Keep Connected website, you’ll find lots of ideas for challenging growth in your family. There you can find:

• The challenge growth family quiz 
• Discussion starters (Talk About It tab)
• Family activities  (Try It tab)
• Books to read together (Read It  tab)
• Information to learn more about challenging growth  (Learn About It tab)

We invite you to learn more about challenging growth and apply it in your own family setting!

Note: This is part of a five-part series on developmental relationships in families. To read other posts in the series, visit Express Care, Provide Support, Share Power and Expand Possibilities.

Expressing care is fundamental to strong and healthy family relationships. Because of that, it’s important to tell family members we care about them and that we want the best for them. But we can also express care through other ways, such as these actions:

• Being dependable: Be someone others can count on and trust.
• Listening to each other: Pay attention to each other and have open, respectful communication.
• Believing in each other: Share with others that they are known and valued.
• Be warm to each other: Let each other know that we like being together.
• Encourage each other: Praise each other’s efforts and achievements.

Watch this short video to learn more about Expressing Care:

How Well Do We Express Care?

According to a Search Institute survey, 80% of participating parenting adults considered expressing care to be the strongest developmental relationship element in their family relationships. Are you wondering how you and your family would stack up? Take the Express Care Quiz and share it with other members of your household.

Learning Ways to Express Care in Your Family

On our Keep Connected website, you’ll find lots of ideas to practically express care in your family. There you can find:

• The express care family quiz
• Discussion starters (Talk About It tab)
• Family activities (Try It tab)
• Books to read together (Read It tab)
• More Iinformation about expressing care  (Learn About It tab)

Free Download: Talking Tips for Expressing Care

Finding time to talk can be a challenge when we’re pulled in so many directions. Click below to download a few talking tips for everyday conversations and for tougher conversations too.

Download Talking Tips for Conversations  

Note: This is part of a five-part series on developmental relationships in families. To read other posts in the series, visit Challenge Growth, Provide Support, and Share Power and Expand Possibilities.

Today’s parenting adults and families are saturated with advice about what to do, what not to do, and what matters most. They’re told to get involved, but not to be helicopter or lawnmower or tiger parents. Or perhaps they should be free-range parents. Or . . .

The problem is that most of these approaches begin with the mindset that the primary role of a parent is to shape or mold kids into what they are supposed to be—or what we think they are supposed to be. So we create checklists of strategies we’ll use to be sure our kids turn out the way we want them to be. If we just follow the recipe . . .

Parenting as a relationship

Of course, it doesn’t really work that way, does it? Part of the reason is that the heart of parenting is a relationship. It’s a bond, a connection, not a strategy. As psychologist Alison Gopnik wrote:

“Parent” is not actually a verb, not a form of work, and it isn’t and shouldn’t be directed toward the goal of sculpting a child into a particular kind of adult. Instead, to be a parent—to care for a child—is to be part of a profound and unique human relationship, to engage in a particular kind of love. (The Gardener & the Carpenter, 2016)

Tools to connect in families

KeepConnected.info is a new website from Search Institute that focuses on strengthening family relationships. Based on extensive research on five key elements that make developmental relationships, the online resource provides tools to help families connect, reflect, and grow together. It offers ideas and tools for you and your family to:

Take quick quizzes that reflect on different aspects of family relationships. Invite other family members to take them too. Then use the results to deepen your connections.	Talk together about what makes family relationships strong and to get to know each other better. Some discussion-starter questions are for kids and parents together. Others are for groups of parents.
Spend time together in interactive family activities that explore family relationships and how you might be more intentional and consistent in how you care, support, challenge, share power, and expand possibilities for each other.	Explore research on different aspects of family relationships and why they are important for how young people grow up, learn, and thrive.

Resources for those who work with families

In addition, KeepConnected.info offers insights and tools for people who work with families, including those who use Search Institute’s signature family engagement program Keep Connected for middle school families. It highlights the power of shifting family engaging strategies to emphasize relationships and building trust as the foundation—just as these are essential in families themselves.

Take time to connect

We live in a time when it’s easy to feel both isolated and bombarded with connections and information all at the same time. Each of us—parenting adults, youth, grandparents, and others—all need meaningful, real connections to keep us grounded and help us grow.

We’ve created KeepConnected.info as one resource to help you do that. Very little on the site is designed to be done alone. It’s designed to stimulate a conversation, an activity, or a new family practice or ritual that brings you closer.

In the process, we hope you discover new strengths and opportunities to learn, grow, and thrive.