In contrast, “invite” suggests that someone’s presence is valued, they are important, and it’s something they will value.

If this comparison interests you, watch this archived webinar Stop Recruiting Parents (and What to Do Instead).

Here are some starting points for building partnerships with families:

• Remember that partnerships are grounded in trust and relationships, which are foundational to an effective, long-term approach.
• Start with the assumption that families know what they need and what they can do—even if you see serious challenges they are facing. (They will not want to open up about their challenges until they know they can trust you.)
• Invite interested parenting adults and youth to shape how you structure opportunities for families. This may include forming a leadership or advisory group of families.
• Create a shared vision about the ways your organization partners with families, including how you shape Keep Connected. Some ways to do this include:
  • Asking parents what they would like to see as a result of their efforts in Keep Connected, using this feedback to build on each session.
  • Brainstorming ideas on how to apply knowledge from Keep Connected to everyday experiences as steps toward a larger vision of stronger relationships.
  • Posting the group’s shared vision somewhere visible, referring to it throughout each session or adding to it over time.⁸
• Work together to identify useful roles parenting adults and youth can play that fit their interests and skills. This may include being part of a leadership team or advisory group, organizing parts of the workshop series (such as coordinating dinners), or co-leading sessions.

• Spend time in places where families spend time. That may be a coffee shop, barber shop, or sports field or arena.
• Listen to their stories and their strengths. What brought them to where they are today? What really matters to them? What strengths have they tapped or cultivated that have helped them navigate challenges they’ve encountered?
• Set aside judgments. Avoid forming judgments on their parenting styles, family composition, cultural differences, or other practices that are unfamiliar to you. (Recognize that these may be your implicit biases, not something that’s a problem in the family.)
• Discover what they’d love to learn to strengthen their families. Invite them to identify stress points or areas where they’d like to grow. You’ll likely find bridges to Keep Connected or other resources that are available in the community.

Instead, people participate when they have connections to others who will be there, and trust that participation will be safe, welcoming, enjoyable, and worth the investment of time for both parenting adults and youth. In other words, people participate because of relationships.

Focus more on two-way communication, such as conversations, phone calls, conferences, open houses, and home visits.⁵ Two-way communication involves both people:

• Listening and asking questions;
• Gathering information that is useful to them;
• Checking to be sure they understand what the other person is saying; and
• Working together toward a mutual agreement, decision, or next step (which may or may not include participation in Keep Connected).

Once people are interested in participating, these promotional tools can be great reminders and reinforcers.

• Ask people who know youth and parents to invite them. Focus on building a core group who will talk about their experiences with others.
  • Who is passionate, credible, and eager to talk to others?
  • Who will take the initiative to talk to friends, neighbors, extended family?
  • What will they be genuinely enthusiastic to share with their networks? (Word of mouth doesn’t work without enthusiasm.)
• Make it easy for them to tell their stories and invite others to participate. Be sure they have the information they need to be trustworthy sources about what to expect and the value of the experience.
• Encourage them to give a “warm handoff.” They might come with those they invite to the workshops or the first session. Or they might introduce new families to the session facilitators in advance of the first workshop.
• Engage young people. They can be great recruiters to get their parents and grandparents involved, if they are confident that it will be a worthwhile experience.
• Connect families with others who have participated. The best ambassadors are those who have experienced Keep Connected and can talk with their friends about their experience. If two to three people would agree to call two to three of their friends, it can go a long way toward your recruitment goals. (If this is the first time you’ve offered Keep Connected, families can talk about other experiences they’ve had through opportunities you’ve offered.​)

There are many ways to build trust, and it typically builds over time. However, here are some starting points:

• Find common ground, whether it’s hobbies, music, family experiences, or other interests.
• Highlight the specific ways they would contribute to the group.
• Respect families and be clear that you want the best for them.
• Do not use information you learn in ways that violate their privacy or expectations.
• Help them solve a problem or work on a goal that is important to them.⁵
• Show support for families through meaningful action, not just talk.³

• Which families do you hope to engage, involve, support, or empower? What do you know about their strengths, priorities, challenges, dreams?
• What are these families’ goals or priorities? How do you know?
• What is your current relationship with them?
• How do they view your organization? How many would you greet by name if you saw them in a store?
• What allies can you engage to reach families with whom you haven’t yet built a relationship or a foundation of trust?
• How might Keep Connected link your goals with the priorities of the families?
• What upcoming opportunities do you have to connect with families?

Remember that your goal is not to engage huge numbers of families all at once. Rather, Keep Connected focuses on engaging up to 10 to 12 families at a time, creating strong relationships and a sense of community among families over time.

Respect the uniqueness of each family system

• The cultural fabric of families is incredibly diverse and can include differences in roles and expectations, family structure, personality characteristics, worldview, beliefs, and professional background, even among members of similar race and ethnicity.²
• Express to families that you care and recognize the common goal all families have in wanting children to succeed.
• Be attentive to the roles of families in different populations. For example, many parents consider involvement to include instillment of values, providing for their children, and sending them to school well-fed, but may not value traditional participation in institutional programs.¹
• Be flexible in scheduling to allow families to participate as they are able.

Prepare leaders to be responsive to diverse cultural beliefs, values, and communication styles

• Invest in meaningful professional development for all staff, regardless of experience level, on family-centered practices, interpersonal skills with diverse populations, and developmental relationships.
• Be purposeful about training facilitators before meeting with parents and families. Unpack with staff ways families may perceive professionals or how a family’s values or cultural expectations influence their own expectations for participation.
• When conversing with parents, avoid implying that a majority culture’s view on parenting is the “right” way.
• Prepare staff and participants to be respectful of diverse families in speech and actions.
• Facilitate open conversations with staff around bias and common stereotypes about families, addressing false assumptions and moving toward inclusivity.

Offer culturally responsive information about Keep Connected

• Consider language and culture in how different families receive and process information. For example, you may need to distribute materials in multiple languages.
• Meet families in person, whenever possible. Use mailers or flyers to reinforce the specifics.
• Work with community partners to share the benefits of the program.
• Limit the use of jargon when speaking or creating materials.

• Scheduling sessions when families are available, which can be particularly challenging when working with parenting adults who work two shifts or who have changing schedules (such as working in retail).
• Offering child care for younger siblings.
• Providing transportation or transportation vouchers for those who need them.
• Providing a meal—which is an integral feature of Keep Connected.

These basics are unpacked in more detail in Planning and Organizing Keep Connected Workshops.

• Benefits: Will participation really help me, my child, and/or my family? It is worth it? Are the costs (time, money, risks) and barriers (transportation, discomfort) higher than the benefits I would experience if I participated?
• Peers: What would other parents like me do? What will they think if I participate?
• Welcome: How will I and my family be treated if I participate?
• Participation: Do I have the skills, knowledge, and resources to be successful if I participate?⁹

Give a taste so they know what to expect: One way to give families a taste of what to expect is to host short activities or sessions in conjunction with other things families are already doing. These might include a session at a key workplace or faith community or at an existing event (such as a parents’ night). You may use the one-time session for parents, Strengthening Family Relationships: A Workshop for Parenting Adults. Or pull favorite standalone activities from a Keep Connected session.

• Brochure 
• Logos 
• Postcard
• Poster & Flyer 
• Press Release Templates 
• Social Media Graphics & Suggested Post Options
• Videos 

It’s important to weigh the pros and cons of using extrinsic rewards when the goal is to sustain participation, not simply encourage parents to sign up.

Pro:

• Providing incentives may lead to increased enrollment.⁶
• Monetary incentive has a greater influence on the participation decisions of certain populations, such as those who may not wish to participate otherwise.⁶
• Incentives can have staying power when linked to finishing the last session of a program.
• Incentives can be a measurable extrinsic recruitment tool.

Con:

• Large compensation could lead parents to focus more on the incentive than on the goals of the program.⁷
• Incentives may bring participants to the program, but they might leave once they receive the incentive.
• Depending on the size of the incentive, it may not be enough to recruit significantly more participants than in the case of offering no incentive.

Align incentives with your goals: If you use incentives, make sure they’re aligned with your goal of strengthening families and family relationships. For example, one Keep Connected organization invited a professional photographer to take pictures of each family and gave them each a portrait. Youth decorated picture frames during extra session time.

Be prepared and present for families

• Prepare thoroughly for each session so that you can keep activities and discussion organized and at a comfortable pace.¹⁰
• Finish up logistics (room setup, dinner setup, coordinating with other facilitators, etc.) before families arrive so you welcome families and talk with them as they are getting settled. Make it a priority to connect with each person.

Make the physical space as comfortable as possible

• Find a comfortable place where families feel welcomed. Sometimes schools and classrooms are uncomfortable, depending on parenting adults’ experiences in school. (And youth may not want to spend more time in their classroom after a day at school.)
• Ensure that the facility size matches well with the number of participants. Having a few people in a giant room undermines group dynamics. Similarly, if it’s too crowded, people may be uncomfortable.
• Set up the space in circles in two rooms—one for youth and one for parents. Avoid a setup that looks like the facilitator is standing in front to deliver the content.

Create space for families to share experiences

• Parents and youth enjoy comparing notes and listening to how other families respond to various situations.

One Keep Connected facilitator reported: “The parents came to really enjoy comparing notes and learning from each other. I think that coming from a strengths-based perspective made it something that convinced them to finish.”

• Be honest about your own experiences, offering examples or stories that can help parents and youth feel at ease and open up to you.
• Build camaraderie through interactive activities, introductions, and icebreakers.¹¹
• Show care toward parents and youth by enforcing expectations of respect from all participants and allowing them to share freely, without fear of judgment.

Show parents and youth they are appreciated

• Be purposeful about telling parents and youth that their contributions are noticed.
• Show interest in their lives by taking time to ask how they’re doing or offer support.
• Allow time for children and parents to share appreciation for each other.

That said, and despite your best efforts, families may stop participating—or only participate sporadically. Perhaps things have come up that they can’t avoid. Perhaps the series slipped their mind. Perhaps the sessions aren’t connecting with them. Perhaps certain group  dynamics are uncomfortable for them. Here are some things to consider:

• Call, text, or use social media to contact parents with a reminder before each session.
• Connect with them personally if you haven’t seen them. Let them know they’ve been missed. If you’ve built trust and approach them openly, they may share honestly. You may identify things to do—either right away or when you offer Keep Connected again.
• Reiterate often that you appreciate their participation and how much they add to the experience for other families.

• Seek regular feedback about workshop experience as well as practical issues such as time and location.